This is the life you have chosen

Ok that was fun.

Where are you?
When are you coming back?

I'm not waiting like I'm waiting, but sometimes and the more often I feel like I'm empty.

It's ok because I have friends and quite a busy social life now with all these phone calls and dates and big parties with names on the list, and most of the time I just can't feel how deep the vacuum harms.

It's not you. It's just me wanting you. Me chasing after something.
I thought it was you and maybe, definitely maybe it was not you. Maybe it was just my own reflection I found somewhere in your heart, that so pure heart you've got.
Maybe that's the way you fucked me each time we touched.
Your incredible strenght.
Why not.

I guess it's just me being possessed. I wanted to be yours so bad because you made me feel like I was living. Now I am just blase and almost disparagingly asking for something like you in my life to come back.


J'ai envie de vomir et pas encore de drogue mais même si ça ne venait pas ça n'irait pas mieux.
J'ai même pas envie que tu reviennes en fait.
Ni que tu m'aimes, ni que tu sois vraiment heureux.
Aujourd'hui je n'ai même pas envie que le vide se remplisse.


Je veux juste continuer à marcher toute seule.

My heart belongs to the ocean

I am far gone now.

It's like, something you couldn't expect but it happens, it's like when you try to run faster in your dreams to touch the sun.
But I am running for real now. And if you let me run after you maybe I will do it forever.

I was expecting life to still the same. And then you came in and you took it all in a rush.

Today is the day I am going to stop writing because I am happy now and I can't complain anymore.
Can I complain about you having those extraordinary blue eyes that I was too confused to even notice when we first met? About my feet hurting because I walked for miles to see your smile this afternoon? About that lovely song playing on the stereo?

I know you think I'm weird and that you don't understand me and you know what I don't either, let's not care I've got plenty of time to give you to make it so.


I am just trying to take some time to rest but I am so full of joy and your face's always coming from nowhere and it shines my day and makes me want to run and run and run again. I run away from you to find you better each time.

And I need you to know I am happy since the day I met you.

I need you to know you can trust me.
I need you to know I was waiting for you to come.
And I need you to know I am never going to hurt you again.

Please don't be scared baby there is so many things we have to talk about whatever the season and whatever the matter and I don't care if you need to work a lot and if we can't share cigarettes after making love and if you look like a kid and if you live in that strange town, I like it because you're in.

I know it's gonna be hard to forget.
I know you are waiting but I promise better days will come, when we will not have to talk about these nasty things I have done before and that I just can't take anymore. I just need a little more time to let it go baby.
And when it's getting hard I think about that day you told me it didn't have to I know I'll find a way.

I like you.
I like sharing your bed.
I like the places you take me to.
I like your hair, I like your wrists, I like your voice, I like your fingers on my lips and I like the way you like people.
I need you to stay baby.


Follow me, we'll watch the stars tonight again.