At least we tried

At least we tried and at least we believed in what we could both give and believe me we've been good at it.
I still believe we are kind of soulmates but, hey, it sounds like lots of people are here.

The truth is I am sorry.
I am sorry to be who I am.
I love you but it's not gonna solve anything.

I need pain and sometimes I feel that pain needs me. Well, at least it's the strongest and the best way I found to feel things truly like I needed to. Love worked for a bit, but it's not enough.

I think when you start to consider people and what they need and what you think they need and ask them to consider what you need then it's too late already.
We reached the end. I always reach the end. Maybe someday I won't even need to try anymore cause I could ruin everything before I taste it. That would be such an extra time.


I am not sad, not happy, just bored because I feel like I'm just bad and I can't help it.

I wanted us to be perfect because we kind of looked so.
You are the most handsome boy I have ever met. The strongest too. You still are my brother until that one wants to leave me too.
I can't give more, I really am done with it. If you can't take it fair enough don't but please don't ask, and please go away if you need something more because I am going to hurt you and that would be the worst Ì could possibly take right now.
You are perfect and this will last.
All I want is you to be loved. I want you to be happy too. To love again and to sell a lot of records and to meet a lot of people who tell you you make their life better.
I know you will. You always do.

Don't think I haven't tried. I did. I just can't do it anymore.
I know you think I am being a bitch, but don't say it, I'm doing the best that I can we just don't wish the same life. I'm a child. Not a child like you are, like clever-but-cute one, a real child, capricious, acting like a idiot most of the time and who can't figure out what selfishness is.
But I'm a believer and I'm a real one so please understand. I hope so much that I can't wish.
I hoped you would take anything and be that perfect boy I was waiting for and then I'll feel something bigger that I have ever felt and I would have love you forever. We would have been that eternal teens getting into the real life stronger than the others because we'd know we have each other and because they don't understand what being different is. Life could have been like strawberries you know, summer for ever, same colour, same taste, the best one.

But it sounds like we are just people my love eh.

So behind this there is still something I need to tell you.

I am what I am but what I am loves you so bad and will stand up against all I can find on earth to keep you near and being that true love you have been waiting for.
I know you were being serious saying it and one day you'll feel proud of it I promise.
Don't go away cause yes I'm a sinner but I'm a fighter too and you are the fight I was looking for.
I know you make me better and I know sometimes life is simple and whatever it is I am running after I will find it somewhere with you talking about how craps girls are playing Zelda and how good was sex last afternoon.

Don't go away.

I know you think I'm trying to mess you up but I am sure you need fights too and you know what : you're already gonna win them all. But you'll loose that one if you don't try harder and that one is, you know, the big fight.
Take it with me and we'll never be scared again.

Life is so boring without you in.