This is the life you have chosen

Ok that was fun.

Where are you?
When are you coming back?

I'm not waiting like I'm waiting, but sometimes and the more often I feel like I'm empty.

It's ok because I have friends and quite a busy social life now with all these phone calls and dates and big parties with names on the list, and most of the time I just can't feel how deep the vacuum harms.

It's not you. It's just me wanting you. Me chasing after something.
I thought it was you and maybe, definitely maybe it was not you. Maybe it was just my own reflection I found somewhere in your heart, that so pure heart you've got.
Maybe that's the way you fucked me each time we touched.
Your incredible strenght.
Why not.

I guess it's just me being possessed. I wanted to be yours so bad because you made me feel like I was living. Now I am just blase and almost disparagingly asking for something like you in my life to come back.


J'ai envie de vomir et pas encore de drogue mais même si ça ne venait pas ça n'irait pas mieux.
J'ai même pas envie que tu reviennes en fait.
Ni que tu m'aimes, ni que tu sois vraiment heureux.
Aujourd'hui je n'ai même pas envie que le vide se remplisse.


Je veux juste continuer à marcher toute seule.